First Date Playbook
From The Date To The Bedroom
Most guys screw up because they have no plan for the date. The absolute worst is when you are on the date, dinner is over, the conversation goes stale and you are both thinking… “Now what should we do?”
You want to have a game plan so that it goes smoothly. Here’s the playbook to help you ace the first date.
The Purpose of The Date
The entire date should revolve around three things. The purpose is to:
1. To get to know her,
2. To have fun,
3. To escalate the relationship if she meets your standards.
When should you the set date?
Set the date for the evening because this creates a romantic setting. Lunch dates are usually for “friends” and the last thing you want is to be stuck in the friend zone.
So keep the dates in the evening. The date should start around 6pm and go until 9pm (Shorter if it turns out you don’t like her.)
The day you go out is also very important. Fridays and Saturdays are bad days to ask her out. She will usually have plans and if she doesn’t have plans, she won’t want to admit it.
The best days for a date are Thursdays, Wednesdays, and Sundays.
So ideally, set the date for Thursday at 6pm.
Where should you go on the date?
You want to choose a place that allows for our three main objectives of the date: To get to know her, have fun, and to escalate the relationship (sexually).
Don’t take her to a movie or to dinner. In a movie, you can’t get to know her and dinner is not a very fun place. Plus, dinner forces you to talk the entire time, which for some guys, is not that easy.
On your date you want to take her to at least three places/activities. The more activities and experiences you have together, the deeper the emotional connection. Intimacy and connection is stronger through shared experiences as opposed to just talking.
Remember these places should be fun, flirty and engaging. Here are examples of ideal first date locations:
- Ice cream – Walk in the park – Drinks on the beach
- Improv or Comedy Show – Drinks at a lounge – Ice cream
- Salsa Classes – Drinks at a lounge – Then Another lounge closer to your place
(Pro Tip: Dancing is a great activity because it forces you two to touch and get close.)
You should stay at each venue/activity for about 1 hour and choose locations that lead closer to your place. Having multiple locations is also great because if you don’t like her, you can end the date on the next transition.
Mindset of The Date:
DO NOT TRY TO IMPRESS HER.
You want to get to know her and she if she is the right girl for you. Not the other way around. Most guys go into dating trying to get any girl they can.
Because of this, they try to win her over and entertain her and as a result, she loses attraction for them Listen, act like a king, not like the jester.
Women want your desire, but only after they’ve earned it.
When you are talking to her, make sure she fits your standards. You need to be very specific about the girl you want so that you can screen out the women that don’t fit. For example, if you don’t like lazy girls, then you find out she sits around watching Jersey Shore all day long – end the date on the first transition!
Always Take The Lead and Be Decisive
Take the lead all the time. You need to choose where to sit and take her there. You should decide when to go and where to go. Take her hand and lead her. Say, “Come on, let’s go.” Always be in control of the situation. Even if she is not initially attracted to you, the power you assert will make her want you.
Conversations that create chemistry:
Most guys have no idea what to say to girls and they screw up because they overthink the interaction.
Remember, you are talking to her to see if she meets your standards. For example, I like women that are fun, creative, and smart. So on the date, I’ll ask her questions that let me know if she fits those qualities.
Guys always ask for specifics, so here’s a rundown of how the conversation should go:
1. At the start of the date, compliment her on what she is wearing if she looks nice. You should hug her right when you meet her because it will help you get past the touch barrier right away. To make it less awkward, say, “I am a hug kind of guy. Give me a hug.”
2. To start the date, make her feel comfortable with some small talk.
3. Then go deep into meaningful conversation. That is where the connection happens. Ask her about her passions. Find out what is important to her. This is something most guys DON”T do. What is truly meaningful to her in her life? What are her goals? Why does she wake up every day to do what she does?
4. Give her a sense of your life and your vision. What are you doing with your life?
5. Play some games and have some fun for the remaining of the interaction.
If you run out of things to say, watch this:
Here is a cool game to play that will also create a connection:
If you want some great examples of deep rapport building questions, check out this list from the NY Times.
Escalating the date: (touching and kiss)
You want to always be escalating the interaction unless you find out you don’t like her.
Right when you meet her, be very flirty and touchy. The sooner you start touching, the easier it will be.
If you wait too long to start touching her, then it will be very awkward when try the first time. The key to touching her is to have an acceptable reason to touch her.
Here is a good video that demonstrates touching her:
Now, if you have been touching her from the very beginning, you should be ready to go for the kiss half-way through the date. A great place to do this would be a you are walking through the park.
Here is how you go for the kiss:
Ending The Date
How you end the date will depend on your dating goals.
If you are interested in having a girlfriend, then I’d suggest you don’t sleep with her on the first date. In this scenario, make sure she gets home safe and talk about plans for another date.
Now, when you want to pull her to your bedroom, here’s what you do…
You need to have a reason for her to come to your place. This is why, it is great to keep your place stocked with wine or another girl friendly beverage.
After you have taken her to 3 venues, qualified her, and created an intimate connection, then simply ask her, “Want to come over to my place for one last drink?”
If you have done everything right until this point, she’ll say, “yes,” if she wants to sleep with you.
Alright, man. That’s it for now. Keep an eye out for our emails where I’ll reveal. more dating secrets.