Do you want a magnetic personality?
A personality that hooks peoples attention and makes them want more. A personality that attracts beautiful women and a personality that guys respect.
In reality, you have a rockstar personality inside of YOU. I know it. Personality is not so much acquired, but released, from within. Your personality is the manifestation of your unique creative self. You have a “good” personality when you are able to express your real self. In other words, your sexy, awesome, influential personality is revealed when you don’t give F**K about what other people think of you.
The problem is, most guys (and people) are too afraid to let it out. You see, in every social situation, people are always giving you feedback. Some of it is negative and some of it is positive. For example, if they like what you say, they may smile. If they don’t like what you say, they may give you a look of confusion.
This feedback is good because it allows us to adjust how we come across to people and accomplish our desired outcome. Now, the problem arises when guys become too attached to the outcome… or the reaction of the other person. This manifests itself in two ways.
1. Some guys strive to be the “Funny and Likeable” guy. He does everything he can to get people to laugh and smile. He is constantly seeking their positive reaction and their approval. The problem is that he loses all attraction because he is putting others before him. He has now become the “entertainer” instead of the “King” who gets entertained. This is not letting your true personality shine because it is still dependent on other peoples reactions.
2. When guys take negative feedback or peoples reactions too seriously, they shut down, become quiet, and don’t let their personality shine. They would rather stay quiet and do nothing than risk getting a bad reaction from people. They cannot express their personality and let their inhibitions take over. They are constantly focused on avoiding any negative feedback whatsoever so they do nothing. Symptoms of this are shyness, timidity, self-consciousness, and nervousness.
Do you fall into one of those categories?
Don’t worry, you are not alone. Many people are self-conscious and would rather not have any negative feedback. But negative feedback is good. For example, let’s say you are traveling in your car from point A to point B with your GPS. Let’s say you take a wrong turn and your GPS says, “You are going the wrong way, please turn around.” Would you quit driving altogether because you made one wrong move? Or would you just turn around and keep going? It is the same with life and social situations. When you receive a negative response, adjust and keep moving forward.
When people are too self-conscious, they care TOO much about what people think. If this is you, then it is time to NOT GIVE A F**K about what they think of you.
Do you want to make a good impression with women or people in general? The way to make a good impression on another person is TO NEVER CONSCIOUSLY TRY TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THEM. Don’t act or fail to act purely to create a certain reaction.
You may be thinking, “If I don’t care what people think, I may lose my job, or hurt people’s feelings…” Okay, true. At some level it is good to care for other people. However, if you are self-conscious, shy, timid, worry a lot, or are seeking positive reactions, then YOU NEED TO STOP and move to the other side of the spectrum called, “NOT GIVING A F**K about what they think of you“.
What do I mean? I mean acting on behalf of what YOU want to do.
Don’t act based on other people. I DO NOT MEAN HARMING PEOPLE EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY. There is a balance where you care for people, but you don’t react if they have a negative response towards you.
So practice disinhibition. Here are some exercises:
1. Practice speaking your mind. Don’t think too hard about what you are going to say. Let the words flow out.
2. Stop Criticizing yourself . Self-criticism and analysis can be useful every once in while but if done constantly, it is defeating.
3. SPEAK LOUDER. Start right now to speak 15% louder than usual. Most timid people speak very softly. You will notice an improvement in confidence when you speak louder.
4. Let people know when you like them. People with a self-conscious personality are afraid of complementing people because it may come across as manipulative. The attractive man speaks his mind. So today find one person that you can genuinely complement. Guy or girl, whatever.
Don’t care what people think of you. You are a awesome.
Make it happen, captain.