the art of closing

The Art of Closing: Part Three – Handling Objections

Missed The Art Of Closing Part 1 (Handling logistics) or Part 2 (Pulling)? Read them here and here

Picture this; you meet a beautiful girl out at your local bar.

The conversation effortlessly flows. She’s getting wrapped up experiencing you. She flicks her hair and bites her lips as she looks at you seductively. You know it’s on.

You pay your tab and tell her; “let’s get out of here and go to my place.”
Her response throws you off your game, “I can’t leave my friends.”
You’re now feeling deflated as you settle for the number and part ways never to see the girl again.What went wrong?

If you read the first two blogs of this series, logistics and pulling, you’ve done everything right up to this point and now it’s time to pull the trigger. What you weren’t prepared for were her objections.

If you’re going out and playing for the win, you’ll be figuring out logistics and moving the interaction towards having a romantic night with your girl. Along the way, she may say no to your advancements.

“Game is messy.”

Objections are not a bad thing. In fact, it should be expected. Game is messy. The smooth approaches you envision of just walking up to a girl, automatically connecting and her saying yes to going home with you only exists in your mind.If you’re playing for the win there will be times the girl resists your advancements whether it’s baby-stepping her around the club or going for the kiss.

This is actually a good thing. If you’re not getting “rejected” then you’re not playing to win.

 

“Objections are actually good. The sooner you get them the sooner you can handle them.”

For example, if you find out early in the night that she can’t leave her friends you can start solving her logistics for her. Maybe she drove so you can offer to ride with her as she drops her friends off and then hang out after. Or you can offer to order an uber for her friend.

“Whatever her objection is, try and understand what she is really objecting to.”If she says she can’t leave her friends maybe it’s because she drove them so if you can solve the question of getting her friends home you can solve her real objection.

Most guys overlook this important skill. If you look into any sales job, handling objections is in the top three skills to have. Why? Because it always happens.

The good news is there are only a handful of objections.

Some examples are, I can’t leave my friends, I work early tomorrow, I don’t know you yet, I don’t give my numbers out to strangers, etc.

Baby Stepping

A general rule to keep in mind is the greater the compliance needed, the greater chance she’ll object. This is why baby stepping is so important.

If she does object, ask yourself, is there a way to baby step it. If you say come meet my friends and she says no, how can you baby step that? Tell her to stand up real quick…now let’s move over here….actually, come say hi to my friends.4 Ways to Handle Objections

  1. Be Persistent
    • Some girls don’t want to seem too easy and some want to see how interested you really are. It’s important to remain persistent since not every girl will like you right off the bat. It’s even more important to know when a no is a no and when to cut your losses. Look, you’ll have a lot less objections if she is really turned on. Here’s how to do that.
  2. Get Better Not Bitter
    • It’s easy to take it personally. Realize objections just mean she doesn’t have enough information to say yes, needs to feel a bit more comfortable or you’re just not the right fit for her. All of which are completely valid.
  3. Baby Steps
    • How can you make the hurdle easier for her to jump over? If it’s too high, figure out ways to make it easier to get over. Don’t try and go from A to Z. Just get to B and trust you’ll figure out how to get to C.
  4. Proactively Reframe
    • Deal with an issue before it arises. If you get a common objection, like you’re too old or too young, it would be smart to address this objection before it becomes one. If you normally hear you’re too old, you can tell the girl how she is too young for you or you normally get along with older women. Reframe the objection in a positive light. Make being older a good thing.

Success Challenge

Next time you get an objection from a girl, write it down and brainstorm some solutions. For example, if you try to move a girl to another part of the club or outside the club and she says “I can’t leave my friends”, you can tell her that we’ll only be a few minutes, we’ll be right back, I just want to introduce you to my friends real quick, etc.

Leave a Comment & Share

What recent objections have you heard? Can you come up with any good responses?

Share the objections and results of your success challenge.

Want us to show you exactly how to meet her and take it all the way to the bedroom? Check out Triggering Sexual Chemistry.

the art of closing

The Art of Closing: Part Two – Pulling

Missed The Art Of Closing Part 1 on Handling logistics? Read it here

Have you ever heard the term “get lucky”? For most guys, that’s exactly what happens when they go out and bring a beautiful girl back home.

The reason why most guys “get lucky” is because they simply don’t know what they’re doing. I used to be one of those guys and just relied on my humor to get a girl to like me and if we somehow ended back at my place, I wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly how it happened. All I know is I was glad that it did.

In my last blog I mentioned the quote, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

Now that I have a solid plan on how to pull a girl home, there is no more guesswork. Everything is streamlined and I’m 100% aware and proactive in the process of bringing a girl home. Using what I’m about to share with you is how I’ve been able to pull beautiful girls home with consistency.

The idea of pulling is to do as little as needed, not as much as possible.

Before I begin, I want to address the two main mistakes guys make when trying to bring a girl home. Either the guy doesn’t even go for the pull or he comes out of nowhere and tries to bring her home all at once.

The key to bringing a girl to your place is to align her emotional and logical brain. Emotionally, she would love to go back and have a good time with you. However, what does society say about a girl who goes back home with a guy? 

Logically, she needs an excuse to do what she emotionally wants to do.

Think back to when you have ever invited a girl to come back to “watch a movie”. She clearly knows what this means when she says yes. Now, imagine if you leave no room for interpretation and tell her to come over to have sex.

Would you be as successful?

I think you get the point. In both cases, the girl knows sex is happening but with the first one, she has a logical excuse to do what she emotionally wants to do. With this safeguard in place, you can turn her on with less risk of her talking herself out of what she knows she wants to do.

Want to learn more about how to turn her on? Click herethe art of closingThe way to do this and align her two brains can be broken down into three parts:

  • Seeding the Pull
  • Baby stepping
  • Leading

SEEDING THE PULL

Seeding the pull is planting the “seed” that the two of you will be hanging out later. One that I often use when going out is, “let’s get food after”.

This plants the idea that later in the night the two of us will be leaving together to get food. Since that idea is already in her mind, when I actually go to bring her to get food I’ll be more successful in doing so.A little fun fact, this leverages the consistency and commitment biases (put link). In a nutshell, people like to be consistent with the decisions and commitments they make. For you, this means if you get her to say yes to grabbing food with you (or whatever seed you plant), she is much more likely to follow through later on in the night when you go for the pull.

Ideally, you want to start planting the seed ASAP. A good idea is to start the process when you notice she likes you or you start to get some IOI’s. Doing this earlier also gives you more time to come up with solutions to any logistical issues and what might work. Maybe you suggest pizza and she says she loves pizza. In this case, you found a perfectly logical reason for her to leave with you.

A last note on seeding the pull is you can do it in the negative. Instead of saying I want to show you my favorite place later you can say “wish I knew you better so I could show you one of my favorite spots.” Some more examples: “too bad I don’t know you better, there’s this thing I would love to do with you”. “We can go there but only for a little”. You seed the pull in a non-needy way.

BABY STEPPING

Instead of going from where you meet to alllllll the way back to your place in one big move, baby stepping is the idea of breaking that up into smaller chunks.

Instead of going from A to Z, just figure out how you’ll get her to B.

This makes it easier for the girl to say yes. Every time she says yes, you also build up compliance momentum where she’s more and more likely to say yes.

Imagine you go to Vegas and try to convince your friend to gamble $1000. It would be easier to have him bet $1, then $2 and keep increasing from there and eventually they’ll reach a tipping point where they invested so much already they might as well go for the big bet.

If you want to bring her home you can break up it with these baby steps for example: lets go meet my friends, let’s check out the other side of the club, lets go get some fresh air (getting her out the club), lets go get some food (already outside and closer to your place), let’s just take this to go and eat at my place.

LEADING

Whether you like it or not, it’s the man’s job to lead. Game is a beautiful dance that requires the man to lead the interaction in the direction he’s looking to go.If you’ve ever done salsa or tango you know what I’m talking about. If not, I highly recommend you go to at least one free class to truly understand how important it is for the man to lead the dance for any chance of success. Without leading, the woman doesn’t know what to do.

The best mentality to have with leading is the girl is along for the ride. You’re out creating your own party, doing what you enjoy and the girl is just coming along. Just take her hand and lead the way.

A girl is either going to say nothing or no but don’t expect a verbal yes.

Saying yes forces her to take responsibility for what’s happening. You want to assume that burden. It’s better to just lead the way rather than ask for permission.

By leading, things “just happened”; You took all the responsibility off her shoulders so she doesn’t feel responsible for what happened.

If you’re wondering what are some ways to lead the interaction there are three types:

  • Conversational
    • Actively direct the conversation by starting new topics and cutting out useless or negative ones
    • Introduce sexual topics and turn her on. To see more on turning her on with conversation, click here
  • Physical
    • Escalate as much as her comfort levels allow
  • Isolation
    • Baby step her to a place you can be alone and get more physical 

EXERCISES

  1. Misinterpret everything you possibly can. Everything you can interpret as a compliment, sexual advance, etc, do so. Ex: “Oh I have to go home. Oh no, you can’t take me home yet, I have to get to know you first.” Misinterpret as she likes you, sexual advance or wants to bring you home – Better to err on the side of being obnoxious than missing your window of opportunity. Most guys miss their chance to bring a girl home.
  2. Move the girl around as much as possible. Practice baby-stepping. Don’t worry about bringing her home yet just focus on moving the girl around and establishing yourself as leading. This will build the habit of moving a girl around so when it’s time to lead her home, it’s just another place to move to; no big deal.
  3. Seed the pull from the very first minute. Drop hints about what you can do later or the idea that she would be a fun person to go on adventures with. It’s good to say it in the negative. “This would be fun but we can’t do that yet, I just met you.” It doesn’t put much out there and it’s something that she can’t say no to.

For more training on sexual tension and turning her on, make sure you check out Triggering Sexual chemistry.Be sure to check out Part 3 on Handling Objections