flaky girls

How To Deal With Flaky Girls (Picking Up Girls In Colombia)

I was recently coaching a student in Colombia, and I decided to shoot a vlog while I was there. Then I noticed there were some flaky girls around. Despite that, I went in and approached hot girls anyway!

Colombia is one of my favorite places to go… mainly because the women are so sexy.

However, they are also some of the flakiest girls around the world, so in this vlog, I’ll reveal how to deal with flaky girls.

Check out the video.

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Download the Conversation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to her. 
flaky girls

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approaching women

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women (Take Her Off The Pedestal)

Have you ever been obsessed with a girl you just met and it completely screwed up the interaction?

Look, women are not attracted to guys that put them on pedestals. 

And if you’re stuck on a woman with an unhealthy obsession, it’s probably screwing with your life.

In this video, you’ll discover 4 tips to getting over her so you can live your life undistracted. Make sure to watch this through, because I’ve put some practical applications of these tips at the end of the video:

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Download the Conversation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to her. 
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How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women

Don’t Put Girls On Pedestals

You’ve probably heard of “putting a woman on a pedestal,” the tendency for some of us to view a woman’s positive qualities and ignore her negative ones. Optimistically looking at people and seeing the best is a GOOD thing. The problem comes when we PROJECT qualities onto a woman that she doesn’t actually have, or when we project that the side we like is her ALL the time as if she’s not a normal human with moods swings, problems, and a lot of stuff going on.

The problem with this mode of thinking is that WHO SHE ACTUALLY IS doesn’t match your PROJECTED FANTASY about who she is. This is always a recipe for disappointment.

Guys with this issue fall into one of two camps, either they don’t operate from an ABUNDANCE mentality (they can’t find a bunch of options to meet their own needs), or they have very little experience, leaving very few references in their minds to navigate real relationships with real people.

Before I understood these concepts, I used to think like this all the time. One girl, in particular, caught me for a loop at the bar in my hometown. We started vibing, shared some laughs, and eventually made out on the dancefloor. What a great night! After that, however, I started PROJECTING onto her all of the stuff I wanted in a girlfriend, some of which she didn’t actually have. Inadvertently, I stopped viewing her as a human, and just viewed her through the lens as my ideal partner, who could meet all of my needs and nullify all of my insecurities. Ignoring who she actually was, I began to get disappointed over and over again because she wasn’t meeting my expectations. Instead of ACTUALLY ENGAGING with her and basking in the amazingness of who she actually was, I just kept trying to get her to act like I THOUGHT she SHOULD be acting. That blew up in my face, and she stopped talking to me altogether.

Do you have a similar situation? Let’s see how we can stop projecting in our obsessions and see her for who she really is?

TIP #1
Knock her off her pedestal by flipping the script

You are the prize. If you put her on a pedestal in your mind, you might be giving off needy or weak vibes, waiting around for her to give you the right signs, give you permission to make a move, or approve of you. STOP THAT. You are the prize to be won. When you realize your own value to her, you’ll expect her to work for you. This has a double benefit of both showing your value, and stopping weak behaviors that turn her off.

TIP #2
Focus on you

Every hero has a quest, and every man has a mission. When you prove to yourself that you have ambition and success in other areas, you can validate yourself, instead of waiting for her to do it for you.

  • Find your mission
  • Pour Everything into it
  • Challenge yourself to crush it. Step up like a man and make things happen, rather than just waiting around to get lucky.

TIP #3
Manage your own emotions

When you envision a woman who can complete you, you tend to see yourself as “not good enough,” or “broken.” You don’t need anyone to complete you; you’re awesome. Prove it to yourself, and she’ll notice it too, in the way you carry yourself.

  • Own your space in the world
  • Take responsibility for your own emotions
  • Take responsibility for how you make others feel, too. When you believe you’re a powerful influence on the people around you, you ARE!

TIP #4
Qualify her to fit into YOUR life
.

When you get caught up with infatuation in the early stages of meeting someone new, step up and get to know her. Make a list of standards that she must meet, and then ask her about each one, evaluating how she fits in.

This will do two things;

1) It will free you from projecting ethereal or unrealistic expectations on women, and

2) It will bring attention to LOOKING FOR these qualities, so that you may see them in other people as well. This will broaden your pool of dateable women and you’ll be taking a massive step toward an abundance mentality.

The core idea behind getting over your obsession with new girls is REPLACING YOUR EXPECTATIONS WITH REALITY, rather than your own myopic fantasy.

Final Thoughts

Armed with both a clear understanding of your own standards and an idea of how a woman you’re attracted to is operating, you’ll be able to see these qualities in everyone. Rather than PROJECTING a fantasy, EVALUATE the reality of every new woman you meet. Take action to ACTUALLY engage with a woman and you’ll free yourself from stalling in fantasy land obsessing over any one girl.

Now if you’re asking yourself, “Sure I’ll remember to do all that, but what do I say to a girl?” We got you covered:

We created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

  • My top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

Download it now because you’ll want to keep this handy before you go out.

approaching women

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personallyclick here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!

approach a shy girl

How To Approach A Shy Girl & Get Her To Open Up

You know, not every beautiful girl is outgoing and extroverted. Some of them are shy. (I personally have seen a lot of shy girls from my time in Asia.)

And lots of guys have trouble approaching the shy, quiet types. They can’t approach a girl that’s shy! That’s why in this video, I’ll show you how to approach SHY girls!

Check it out below.

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Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level! 
how to approach a girl


How To Approach A Shy Girl & Get Her To Open Up

The Shy girl

The “shy girl” typically shows hesitation to engage in the interaction, which means it’s going to be a bumpy ride trying to get her to talk, let alone give her number to you or go on a date. (Not to worry though, we’ll solve that soon enough)

Many shy girls build barriers to keep men out of their life. There are plenty of reasons for this:

  • Broken family
  • Feeling insecure
  • Feeling unsafe and unsure
  • Low self-esteem
  • Culture and Beliefs

Here’s a quick checklist to know whether or not you’re dealing with a shy girl :

  1. Barely maintains eye contact, keeps staring at the ground
  2. Crosses arms or keeps fiddling with fingers
  3. VERY soft, almost inaudible voice when talking
  4. Prefers to speak in shorter sentences and is close-ended most of the time

We’ll have to break these barriers. Mastering the art of connecting to women will get even the shyest of them to open up (in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.) They’ll feel attached to you – and you’ll only have to keep some simple things in mind.

How To Approach A Shy Girl

TIP #1
Match her energy, but the right way.

Mirroring is a powerful Neuro-Linguistic Programming tool to establish rapport with a stranger. You see, humans tend to trust and feel more comfortable around those that seem most like them. When you mirror a persons body language, movements, energy, eye contact, and keywords, it can quickly create a powerful connection, But be careful doing this with a shy girl. You don’t want to mimic her submissive and beta body language and start acting shy, timid or nervous because that’s just not very attractive.

However, approaching her as a loud, high energy alpha will probably scare her away.  

The key is to match her energy. And shy girls are usually lower energy so crank it down a notch or two.  Even if you are at a high energy club and you approach a shy girl, lower your energy at first to make her feel comfortable. Then slowly start bringing it back up to lead her into a more fun outgoing state.

TIP #2
Be comfortable.

You need to feel totally at ease with yourself and with her, even though she might be acting a little strange. A lot of guys get nervous around shy girls because they aren’t sure if she’s into him, so they start second-guessing themselves. Instead, have fun and just talk. I like to warm up before dates.

Be okay with silence, and don’t make it awkward. She might be taking her time to open up, so keep smiling and be comfortable with longer than normal moments of silence.

Here are a few tips to help:

  • Keep a friendly and warm smile and cheerful demeanor.
  • The less threatening you are, the better. But remember to keep a confident tone to your voice and body movements.
  • Maintain some distance when first speaking to her. You want her to feel safe so, limit physical contact at first. Start by reaching out and shaking her hand after a good introduction.

TIP #3
Shy girls tend to talk way less than outgoing girls. So you’ll have to take on the conversational burden and talk more than her.

It’s actually okay to just start talking about yourself. This will get things going and keep things interesting. (But remember to give her a chance to talk, too if she wants.)

Feel free to share your life story with her. This helps her to get to know you and feel more comfortable with you and eventually she’ll start to open up. Hopefully.

If I’m dealing with a woman that is shy I like to show her pictures on my phone. This helps her learn about me and allows us to get closer because I’m sitting next to her. If she feels comfortable sitting close to you then this is a huge step in escalating the interaction. I can also use pictures to escalate sexually.

Always give her the opportunity to speak by asking basic open-ended questions, that she doesn’t have to exert too much mental energy coming up with an answer, like What do you do for fun?or “Do you have brothers and sisters? Tell me about them”.

Once she’s opened up a bit, it’s time to escalate. But I recommend you start slowly and see how she reacts. 

  • Joke around with her gently touching her. You’ll see whether or not she reacts positively to this, and you’ll know if she’s comfortable with that.
  • If she reacts negatively, it’s best to lie back for now and try again later when you’ve established a better rapport. If positive, try experimenting with gradual intimacy like hand to belly, but again fall back if you see a negative reaction.
  • You don’t want to be creepy here! Even though you’re being assertive, remain 100% gentleman so as not to lose her completely. It only takes one creepy mistake (like cracking a personal sex joke way too early or touching her legs too soon) to turn off a shy girl.

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If she’s receptive, it means that she’s allowing you to breach her defenses. Shy girls tend to need a little more time to warm up but don’t give up. All you have to do is take it slow, one step at a time!
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To help you out with escalating with a shy girl, or with any other girl – we created a “Free Escalation Cheat Sheet” that lists out some of our best ways to spark sexual tension, turn a girl on, and escalate to the bedroom.

It’s filled with Advanced Escalation Techniques that will help you turn a platonic – friendly interaction, into a more sexual – “I want to rip your clothes off” vibe.

This is very useful when you’re talking to a girl, but it’s going nowhere.

Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level! 
approach a shy girl

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personallyclick here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!