feel like a winner

How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure | Always Feel Like a Winner!

Its time you know HOW to STOP Feeling Like a Failure! Plenty of guys are holding themselves back for this specific reason. And you can only stop being a loser if you know HOW to stop feeling like one – here are 8 simple ways to finally get a hold of your success and motivation:

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How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure /
Always Feel Like a Winner!

8: Get a vision

If you feel like you are lost or falling behind, then one of the quickest ways to get back on track is to get a clear vision of where you want to be.

By having a point of reference, it means you have something to keep you accountable to and a point to work towards. Whether that’s getting married, buying a house or getting promoted at work.

Take a piece of paper and write down what it is you want to achieve and be in the next year and then break it down into smaller monthly goals.

Then take all of that and condense it into a one to two word sentence which will become your vision statement.

What this does is help you have an idea of the bigger picture but takes the overwhelm out of it because you are able to just focus on one step at a time.

But before I tell you the next 7 steps I will say this some of the men I have worked with have been big shot entrepreneurs, owning flashy cars and nice houses , but have still felt like they were failing because they couldn’t find the right woman .

Other men I have worked with have had the girl , but have felt so unfilled in their purpose that . You don’t have to have one or the other , I believe you can have both and that’s why I want to teach you how to do that right now.

7: Hang around the right people

They say that we become a product of our environment or “if you show me who your friends are then I’ll show you who you’ll become.”

Whether we want to or not, we are all easily influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. And right now, it’s time to do an audit of who you hang out with.

The best questions to ask yourself when it comes to your circle are:

– Do I want to become like one of them?

– Do I feel encouraged and energised by them?

– Do they push me to be a better version of myself?

– Am I growing when I am with them?

If you answer No to any one of these then it’s time to find yourself a new tribe. As men, you are going to be naturally competitive, so surround yourself with people who cause you to want to succeed, rather than settling for mediocrity.

6: Celebrate your accomplishments

When you become too focused on the future you often forget just how far you’ve come. It’s great to be hungry for more, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your peace or relationships.

If you are a high achiever then chances are you will always be pushing for the next, and one of the exercises I get my male clients to do is to make an accomplishment board to put next to their vision statement like what I suggested in point 10.

This board should have visual or written evidence of what you HAVE done, so that you can also remember that you are progressing and not failing.

5: Discipline your thoughts

Your thoughts have the power to destroy or build your world up. How? Simply because whatever we think we then speak and act out of, which produce our patterns which then form our lives.

If you want to start feeling like you are succeeding, whether you believe it or not, you have to start taking control of your thought process.

Science says it takes 21 days for a new habit to form in your brain, so all you need to do is monitor your thoughts for 3 weeks and correct them every time they start to go off course.

The best way is to keep a journal or have some good friends keep you accountable to your attitude.

4: Go to the gym

If you go to the gym already then, it’s time to push harder and set new goals to shock your muscles into new growth. If you don’t do exercise then it’s time to join a gym or fitness sport.

Not only does this increase your testosterone and endorphins which lifts your mood but it also gives you energy and puts you in an environment of people who are dedicated to getting results.

3: Get a make over

Sometimes feeling better about yourself and boosting your confidence can come down to just getting a make-over. If you have no idea about style then go and hire someone or watch some of our videos on how to dress and groom properly like : “15 things men wear that women love”

In the first 2 mins of meeting a woman she will be working out if she is attracted to you or not and that initial attraction will be based off how you look and hold yourself.

So, do yourself a favour and invest the time, energy and money into enhancing how you look so that you can feel more confident and get a better reaction

2: Set yourself a 30-day challenge

If you really want to shock your brain into thinking you are a thriving alpha male, then set yourself a 30-day challenge and focus on completing it. Whether this is saving a certain amount of money, lifting a certain amount of weight, running a race, quitting sugar or alcohol, choose something that interests but challenges you.

And when you think about it focusing on 1 month out of 12 is nothing but can make a huge difference to the rest of the year, so don’t delay and at the end of this video choose your challenge and put it in the comments below so we can all celebrate and cheer you on!

1:  Water your own grass

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and just focus on what you need to do. Comparison is a joy thief and the only time you should be looking at someone else is if they are a mentor to look up to or girl that you want to ask out.

The longer you pour energy into pulling yourself apart to compete with someone else, the longer you stay stagnant, because you cannot move forward while you are divided within yourself.

So, my advice is to find 3 mentors to look up to , this can be someone you know like a boss or confident and successful friend , someone you don’t know but can access their resources , maybe an actor or businessman or influencer and someone who can actually lead you like a coach who you do sessions with.

Secondly,  remove any other trigger that causes you to compare yourself to other negatively such as Instagram , fake friends or environments that pull you down.  One of the biggest ways to instantly boost your confidence and feel like you are on the path of success is simply to cut ties and shift your current circle of friends or environment.

Now if you want real accountability then I suggest joining one of our day boot camps , because that is the perfect way to set yourself up for gaining confidence in your love life and self . We do group workshops , set you up with practical skills and strategies and give you the support and guidance that sometimes you just need in order to feel like you can move forward.

Join us by CLICKING HERE.

Now don’t forget to post your 30 day challenge in the comments below, after you have subscribed and given us a thumbs up of course, and until next time, know that you aren’t failing , we believe in you and that you are awesome!

Ciao!

how to stop being insecure

How to Stop Being Insecure (6 Simple Ways)

The newest topic on our list: How to stop being insecure!

Insecurity is flat-out unattractive and quickly pushes people away from you without you even realizing it. But, insecurity is just a feeling, not a fact. The truth is; you can work on things you are insecure about, even the things you can’t change, and become confident in yourself and in this video I will show you how:

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how to stop being insecure

How To Stop Being Insecure

This won’t be your typical video on this topic saying just believe yourself, give yourself a hug and a pat on the back. Because…

Often times insecurity, is deeper than that and stems from identity, your identify as being shy, or bad with girls, or you have a core belief that women only like tall, buff, rich guys and anything that disproves or goes against that core belief threatens your identity.

So you need to train your mind to stop viewing yourself as “this is who I am” and start seeing yourself as a more fluid concept, someone whose beliefs are constantly evolving and changing. And instead of trying to prove yourself right all the time, “yep another tall buff rich guy with a hot girl” try to prove yourself wrong. In fact, I want you to try and disprove your own identity, well at least the things that are making you feel insecure.

Now you might be wondering “how do I know what my identity is?” Well a quick exercise to help you see how you see yourself is to write down 5 adjectives that best describe yourself. Go ahead do it now. I’ll wait…

Did you write down anything that you wish wasn’t true? If so, then start seeking out evidence to disprove it. Or maybe you wrote down 5 positive adjectives, but now ask yourself, do you have 100% control over each of them? For example, maybe you wrote down caring, friendly, awesome guitar player, giving and popular. Well, the first four you have control over, but popular is not 100% your choice. If you walk into a room where you don’t know anyone and you aren’t popular there then you may start feeling insecure.

So let me give you 6 steps to help eliminate your insecurities and feel better about yourself. The truth is I used to be really insecure about my balding, big nose, too skinny.. But after these mastering these 6 steps on how to stop being insecure, I’ve since been the calm, confident man that I am now!

1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Get off using social media all the time!

Remember that people just post the best from their lives and not their flaws

Remember that the highlight reel of others aren’t the same as what you see. People tend to show what they want people to see. If you base your comparisons from this, you definitely miss some points.

Limit your social media and only view close friends or positive influencers like certain celebrities.

Do you really need to follow people like Dan Bilzerian?

There is always going to be someone bigger and better, so except it. It doesn’t mean you should give up, it just means you should come up with your own metric for success instead of using someone else’s.

Compare yourself only to you.

While comparing is necessary to know where you rank yourself, only compare yourself to your achievements and successes NOT of others.

Every 6 to 12 months take inventory and compare how far you’ve come. Maybe you’ve been working out consistently so take a pic every month to see your progress. That makes a lot more sense than comparing yourself to Arnold S.!

And just like there is always someone better than you there is always someone worse off than you. Someone is looking at the short guy and saying he’s so lucky because he’s 5’1” and I’m only 4’1”…

Someone else is looking at that little person thinking he’s so lucky because he can walk and I can’t. Do you get the point? Start appreciating all that you have because no matter who you are, where you are or what you are insecure about you have a lot to be grateful for. At the minimum, I know you are alive and you probably hear or see or both if you are watching this video.


2. Change What You Can and Accept What You Can’t

Stop complaining.

Example: “Rich men are the only ones who can attract women.”

Mindset shift: Wealth isn’t the only thing that women look for men. Decent women look for important attributes such as how he make her feel.

Take action towards your weaknesses.

Let it motivate you (JayZ, Tony Robbins and Oprah came from extreme poverty)

There are certain things you CAN change

If you don’t like the way you look, you could go to the gym, tone your muscles, eat healthy foods, or change wardrobe. Too much facial or body hair? Some women find it sexy so that’s OK,

High hairline? Style your hair or just leave that be and focus on other good facial features you have.

It wouldn’t be easy especially in the start but it will be worth it.

Your personality can change. Personality is not defined by nature, I believe you also have full control on who you want to be.

There are certain things you CANNOT change

How do you accept the things you can’t change? Jon Kabat-Zinn said, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.”

Own it and accept it because why worry about something you have no control over. As soon as you embrace and accept yourself for who you are it frees you.

Acknowledge insecurities, find the beauty in it, and soon you’d be able to accept as they are

Exercise: Write 20 positives about your insecurity. This will help you learn to love your every aspect of yourself.

What about Height? Well, think of it this way:

  1. Underdog – fun challenge
  2. When women like you you know its because of your personality not just your looks
  3. Motivated you to work harder at becoming attractive in other areas of your life
  4. Caused you to harder in other things you can control like building muscle or building a business empire.

I have a friend who is 5’1” and owns 50 restaurant businesses and will probably be a billionaire in a few years and I have a feeling that he wouldn’t have worked so hard if he was 6’1” and women just threw themselves at him.

3. Stop negative thought loops

For some reason for most of us it’s easier to admire other people but hate oneself. I bet the mean things you say about yourself you would never say to anyone else you cared about. But, would it be fair to be gentle and love yourself just as how you easily love others?

Notice every time you think a negative thought about yourself and take a second to rephrase it to a positive statement or a progressive statement.

Use rubber band technique (Pulling a rubber band and letting it snap at your wrist every time a negative thought comes to your head)

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE:

I’m so stupid = I just messed up no big deal everyone makes mistakes

I’m a failure = I found a way that doesn’t and I will learn from this

I’m too skinny or Fat = I’m making small steps everyday to improve my body.

4. Fall in love with yourself

Find your own beauty, focus on what’s good about you. Think about your good qualities, simple compliments from others, or your achievements and give yourself a compliment too.
List down the qualities/skills that you think that you’re good at. You may include others’ compliments, it could go as simple as “Your shoes are nice.” It means you have a good taste in fashion, you may include such note. Track your small and big achievements in a journal (success journal – in the academy we have them create a success journal).

Before you start your day or when you’re feeling down or insecure, go over this list and remind yourself of these.

Focus on gratitude instead of being preoccupied with your inadequacy.

Maybe you aren’t super good looking but maybe you are a great storyteller and can take women on an emotional rollercoaster with your words. Then use that to your advantage and be grateful for it.

5. Surround Yourself with Support

Chances are you have a lot of naysayers in your life, because like attracts like. And as you are improving yourself they will try to bring you back down to their level because that is their comfort zone.

If you change it means that they have to face the cold harsh truth that they can also change and most people want to stay right where they are.

CRAB MENTALITY EXPLAINED:

If there are several crabs in a bucket, and one tries to climb out, the others will pull him back down. Unfortunately some people have the mentality “If I can’t have it, neither can you.” If the crabs supported each other, they could easily escape. But instead their selfishness keeps them trapped. When you start to change and reach for success do your friends and family offer encouragement, or do they try and pull you back down to reality?  If you want to climb out of your “bucket,” whatever it may be, don’t let the other crabs pull you down.

Surround yourself with people who support you and accept you because they are also the people who could help you boosts your self-esteem. And stop hanging around those that bring you down.

Have a conversation with family members that put you down.


6. Exposure Therapy

Insecurities that arise in specific situations can fade away over time when you systematically desensitize yourself to situations you aren’t comfortable in.

Example: If you are normally nervous and feel insecure when talking to women, just find a way to talk to them. Show that you are comfortable and confident to establish connection even if you aren’t. Sure, they might notice that you’re nervous but surely, they will also notice that you are trying to overcome that feeling. Most often than not, these kind of interaction unlocks your communication skills.

If you are nervous during job interviews then practice it a lot. Apply for some jobs that you don’t care about to get in some practice.

Example: If you are normally nervous when talking to women, find a way to talk to them

-BONUS STEP-
Step 7. Use Physiology to Affect Psychology

Use your body to influence your mind “physiology affects psychology”

  • Smile
    • Studies show that if you smile you start to feel good
    • “A smile spurs a powerful chemical reaction in the brain that can make you feel happier…. Science has shown that the mere act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress, boost your immune system and possibly even prolong your life. … In other words, smiling can trick your brain into feeling happy” – NBC news
  • Stand tall; shoulders back
  • Victory pose – anchored positive feelings
  • Take up space with Open body
  • Slow and calm VS anxious and fidgety

Act like someone who is confident in those situations and soon you will be someone who is confident and your insecurity will soon fade.

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how to stop being insecure

That’s all for now! Make sure you keep updated because we’ve got more awesome tips to share soon!

Let us know if you want us to train and mentor you!

Cheers!

-Matt Artisan

how to be an alpha male

How to be an Alpha Male

Hey guys! Want to know the FASTEST way to be an ALPHA MALE? Here are 10 steps on how to STOP being a nice guy and be an alpha male that attracts women effortlessly!

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Thanks for watching! If you want us to help train you approach and date women you want, don’t hesitate to click here!

-Renee