7 Reasons Why You’re NOT READY for a Relationship

Is she not ready for a relationship? Or are YOU not ready for a relationship?

Right now, there are over 3.5 billion women in the world. 2 billion of them are between 24-54 years old. Let’s assume half of them are single.

That leaves 1 billion women who – based on my experience – are actively looking to meet a man or are open to it. So why then are you struggling to meet ONE?  

Why is it that you can’t find a girl?

Why do you go on dates and put in all this effort… but still aren’t getting anywhere?

There are 7 reasons why and Renee Slansky from The Attractive Man team is here to tell you what those 7 fatal reasons are, and exactly how to turn them around.

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7 Reasons Why You’re NOT READY for a Relationship

1: You don’t know what you want

If you are out there dating and trying to have a relationship and have absolutely no idea, or a really vague idea of what you want, then it’s going to be a very confusing process for everyone involved.

Think of love like a map. In order to set a course, you have to know where you are and where you want to get to. This is what gives you a point of direction to work towards.

If you don’t have a sense of direction, you’ll just aimlessly wander around from girl to girl and never actually get anywhere.

Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to sit down, grab a piece of paper and actually write down WHAT YOU WANT! List the top 5 qualities in your dream girl and dream relationship and then ask yourself, how can I make that a reality?  Do you want a long-term or casual relationship? Because identifying what type of relationship you want will help you work out what qualities that girl will have that can give you that type of relationship.

Do you need to be more proactive? Do you need to do some work on yourself? Do you have any idea where this type of girl might hang out?

The clearer you are the more chances you’ll have of attracting her and recognizing her when she comes along.

2: You need to sort out your baggage

Let’s be adults now and understand that no one is coming to rescue us and that we are actually the common denominator in our lives. If you are struggling to hold a girl or find a girl then it could be because you need to sort your crap out!

A high value awesome woman isn’t going to put up with a guy that still lets his past get him down. Stop making excuses and do something about what you are bitter or angry about.

Having a great relationship is about being a great partner who doesn’t hold onto unnecessary destructive crap.

I want you to do something: I want you imagine grabbing a suitcase and load it up with 10 or 20 kgs of weight, then I want you to take it on every date with you and try to meet women…. pretty sure women are going to run a mile ….

Well that’s what having baggage is like…it repels the right people from our life and attracts the ones who also have unresolved baggage.

So here’s what you need to do to get rid of it:  Write a list of all the people who hurt you, list what they did, speak forgiveness over them and yourself out loud for each person: which is something as simple as “I Rob… forgive you Jane for breaking my heart and hurting me in 2010, I release you and myself from this experience” .

Then burn that list. It might seem stupid, but hey I’m the coach and I actually know what works, so try it for me.

Remember you can’t correct what you aren’t willing to confront.

3: Choose commitment.

I will say this, you aren’t alone and it is more common for men to fear commitment than women, but just because you are in company doesn’t mean it’s going to justify your fears or that it’s good company!

It’s time to grow up and realise that commitment is not a prison sentence, it’s an opportunity to be loved wholly by someone and open your heart to another who can actually enhance it.

Statistically speaking, married men actually live longer and have less stress, because they understand that a problem shared is a problem halved!

There will always be risk involved but you get to choose how you respond to life. So, try and just take commitment in baby steps instead of being scared away from the big picture.  

And ask yourself where does this fear come from, is there baggage from point number 2 you need to sort out?

4: You’re dating the wrong woman over and over again!

If you have a type that’s a great starting point, but just make sure it’s women who are also good for you.

You see you can’t choose who you are attracted to, but you can choose who to fall in love with.  Not all women are money hungry, blood sucking, heartbreakers (shock horror I know!)

But you have to weed out the good from the bad and learn to identify them early on.  Make sure when you are attracted to a woman that you are taking your time to get to know her, look at what she’s consistent in, and ask yourself if she has more than just looks and sexual attraction going for her.

One thing I get my clients to do is an ex mug line up …basically I want you to profile all your exs and previous dates and see what common qualities and similarities they all have. Then trace back what could be indications of these such as her looks, way to act, dress, her friends etc.

Then once you have an idea, you will be able to pick up on it before it’s too late!

5: You’re not making room for anyone in your life

If you want someone to fit in, then you have to make them feel like they have a place. I get it, you want to have all your ducks lined up in a row, but if you keep delaying because you don’t feel ready, you’ll keep missing out and losing more time.

It’s not about trying to squeeze her in when you finally have everything perfect, you can still have a relationship even while everything else is in progress.

So, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to set 1–2 nights a week free where you would eventually want to spend quality time with her. Right now, she’s not in your life, but it’s about getting prepared and in a positive routine to receive her. Dedicate these two nights to either proactively trying to get a date, by being social or interacting with women or doing something fun.

Next, I want you to clear a space in your bathroom for her… yep when she eventually comes you will already have a space for her to fit in!  Also, this physical reminder will keep you accountable to what you want and need to do as well to get it.

6: Your standards are too high or too low

Guys, get to know what a healthy and realistic standard is. Stop guessing or basing it off your past experiences and get educated.

If your standards are too low you will always be disappointed and unfulfilled. But, if they are too high, then women will never feel like they can please you and you will end up alone. The two indications of a healthy relationship are peace and progress. If you don’t have either then you are either too high or too low!

7: You don’t have a clue about women!

Ok lastly this is a pretty big one. If you don’t know a thing about women then we aren’t going to feel like you add value to us. This is why you have to subscribe to our channel, because we literally give all the juicy details away.

Guys women aren’t that complicated. We teach you how to talk to them and woo them, so if you haven’t downloaded one of our escalation cheat sheets then do so now.

Here’s the thing, a lot of the time all we want is to feel like a priority, have some security and know that you think we are beautiful and valued. It’s that simple.

If you want to know how we tick you have to get inside our heads and hearts! Make the effort to invest getting to know how we tick, what we feel and want, because it’s actually going to be to your own advantage, plus you’ll make up for lost time and set yourself apart from every other man out there.

Well that was a lesson and a half and pretty darn good one, so do me a favour and share it with a mate and give us a thumbs up!

Don’t forget to download our Escalation cheat sheet. It will help you take things to the next level and give you the confidence to take things to the next level smoothly. You can download it by simply clicking on the image at the bottom of the screen.

Until next time, I’m Renee and I’ll see you soon!


Let us personally show you how to meet women: see our live Bootcamp Schedule here.

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Founder of one of the top 30 global dating blogs and Australia's number 1 dating and relationship blogs The Dating Directory, Renee Slansky has been educating men and women on love since 2013.

Renee contributes advice to some of the largest online publications in the world including The Huffington Post , The Good Men Project , Your Tango , Elite Daily and more. She is a dating and relationship advisor for eHarmony , Plenty Of Fish , Happn , We Date and RSVP.com and continues to fuse the gap between technology and finding love. And her teachings have been written in educational textbooks that are distributed throughout the whole of North America.

Renee is often called to present as a relationship expert for Channel 7, Channel 10, SBS, talkshows, podcasts and commercial radio globally.

Her methods are based on providing a strong foundation of self love and sustainable solutions. As a love advisor for over 30 thousand women , Renee still works 1-2-1 with men and couples to help them cultivate strong, healthy relationships.
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