Look, science has proven over and over that women are attracted to certain things guys do. So if you know what attracts women on a psychological level, then women will naturally be drawn to you.
In this video, I explain the psychology of attraction and what women instinctively look for in a man.
Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level!
Over the last 8 years, I’ve personally coached students live in 40 countries… and my students get results because what I teach is simple and based on science and psychology. Now keep in mind that each one of these can be an entire video on its own.
Now here are 15 psychological hacks to make women like you:
#1: Emotional Contagion
Numerous studies have shown that your emotions can trigger the same emotions in another person.
In other words, she can feel what you are feeling. If you feel excited about something, she’ll start feeling excited too.
This is a powerful principle that can be used against you and this is where most guys screw up the attraction. A guy will go up to a girl and if he feels a bit awkward or nervous, then she’ll feel it too and women hate the awkward nervous feeling.
Now on the flip side, you can also use this to make women turned on and aroused.
If you feel “turned on” for her, then by definition, your emotions will make her feel turned on as well.
So don’t hide your feelings for her. If you are turned on by her let it show in your tonality and facial expressions. You can also show your attraction to her through your behavior. Move closer, touch her, make subtly suggestive comments, flirt with her, etc.
#2: Social Proof
Social proof is when the people around you influence your behavior or attitude. It’s the idea that if other people like something then it must be good.
When a woman first spots you in a social context she doesn’t know if you’re worthy to talk to or not. So she’ll look at how other people are responding to you to determine how she should respond. Is there a group of people enjoying your presence? Then she’ll assume you’re an enjoyable guy. But if you’re sitting alone, or people are responding negatively to you then she’ll assume the opposite.
So be a “Social Butterfly.” Even if you are alone, start to mingle and engage in fun conversation with people around you. Women WILL notice.
You can also apply this online on Facebook, Instagram or dating sites. Make sure to have lots of pictures with other people. She’ll assume if those people like you then you must be a cool guy.
Preselection, similar to social proof, states that if a woman sees you with another girl, then she will naturally become more attracted to you.
The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found women were more attracted to men who were already in a relationship than men who were single.
Men with other women have already been “preselected” and are therefore more likely have traits that other women want.
That being said, you don’t need to be in a relationship to use “preselection.”
An easy way to apply this is to go out to bars with your female friends. You will become a lot more noticeable and get better reactions from women if you are with other women VS being with your guy friends.
But what if you don’t have any female friends? Go to the bar early and start chatting up groups of girls and befriend them. When more women arrive they’ll notice that you are hanging out with women and become more interested.
Another way to do this is to casually mention other women in your life throughout the conversation. Just don’t overdo it or you might come off as a player.
The Journal of Applied Psychology found that humans place a higher value on objects that are scarce and less value on objects that are abundant.
Based on the same principle, if you’re willing to sleep with any girl, your value will drop. And if you are always available to see her at her beckon notice your value drops.
So don’t always be available at any moment. Have other things going on in your life.
And make sure to have standards beyond her looks.
An easy way to convey this is to ask her a qualification question such as, “beside your cute looks tell me one thing interesting about you” or “I really am into fitness do you like to exercise?” This shows that you have standards and won’t just date her based on her looks alone.
#5: Oxytocin a.k.a. The Love Hormone
Oxytocin is a hormone that causes people to grow attached and create close personal bonds.
Research shows that after women give birth, they have high amounts of oxytocin, which makes them feel love and affection for their newborn. Without this survival mechanism, mothers would be more inclined to leave their kids.
This same hormone applies to the bonding and affection of couples. She will feel “in love with you” when oxytocin is present.
One way to release oxytocin is through physical touch so become the “hugging type.” Give her a giant bear hug and twirl her around in a circle.
Or just become a guy that is comfortable touching women. Notice things she’s wearing and use that as a way to touch her.
#6: The Extended Gaze
Social psychologist Zick Rubin discovered that two people in conversation normally make eye contact only 30% to 60% of the time, “Couples who are in love, however, look at each other 75% of the time or more.
When you are looking directly at your partner, you show that you’re totally focused on what she is saying and that you feel relaxed and open with this person. How much we look into someone’s eyes not only helps establish intimacy and is another way to release oxytocin, but it also reveals how much intimacy might already be present.
So when in conversation with a girl you like, hold your gaze longer than normal and maintain strong eye contact with her about 75% of the time or more.
#7: Status Trigger
The Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality found that women prefer men with status and resources.(5)
This is based on evolutionary psychology where a high-status man can provide a better future for her and her offspring.
One of the biggest indicators of status is leadership. The leader of a group of primates tends to have the highest status.
So be the one who takes charge, makes decisions and leads your group. Create the plan for the night. Decide where to go and what to do.
#8: The Instant Status Signal
When you dress high-status women will assume you are a high-status man and be more attracted to you. And nothing screams high status more than a well-tailored suit.
A suit can suggest monetary success, security and women often say that a man in a nice suit is the equivalent of a woman wearing lingerie. So suit up! But even if that, not your style, class up your attire, wear quality clothes, and make sure they are well tailored because women will notice. And it’s one way they determine your status.
#9: The Personality Hack
A study in 2014 found that having a positive personality actually increases the attractiveness of your face.
Think about it… are you more attracted to women with bubbly personalities or depressing personalities?
So simply have fun and project a positive vibe with the people around you.! Women will find you more physically attractive.
#10: The Proud Face
Now here’s where it gets interesting. Researchers examined the relative sexual attractiveness of individuals showing emotional expressions of happiness, pride, and shame compared with a neutral face. The study found that too much smiling can actually be perceived as feminine and shy.
This most likely is because too much smiling is a way to relieve tension and can make you seem nervous. So smile, but don’t overdo it with a prolonged ear to ear grin.
The study also found that women find a guy with a “proud face” most attractive.
So the next time you are about to approach a woman you like, recall something you are proud of and start the conversation while gleaming with pride.
#11: Sexual Tension
In physics, “tension” is defined as a force created by pulling in OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. When it comes to creating SEXUAL tension with a woman you need to apply two “forces” to her emotions at the same time.
She needs to feel your attraction towards her and she needs to see you as a challenge. This creates tension and curiosity because she’s never sure if you are 100% into her or not.
So show your interest then put up small, fun challenges in order for her to want more of your interest and attention.
An example would be looking at her lips and saying, “I want to kiss you right now but that would be bad”
Or “Let’s go back to my place but we have to try to behave, you have to keep your hands above my waist.”
Whenever you make a move to take things to the next level physically… whether it’s holding her hand, going in for that first kiss, or taking it to the bedroom… PAUSE and back things up a step or two before moving forward again. This is also known as “2 steps forward 1 step back” and can save you from moving too fast too soon.
#12: Open Body Language
According to a study by Evolution and Human Behavior men with closed-off body language come off as less attractive, less active and less persuasive.
So always display open body language. Have a wide stance. Stand tall and confident and Take up space.
#13: Consistency Bias
The cognitive bias of remembering one’s past attitudes and behavior as resembling present attitudes and behavior. You can use this to your advantage by getting her to agree to have a specific positive quality, for example: “You seem really fun and friendly”.
She’s then more likely to act more fun a friend around you. You could also say, “Are you adventurous” or “I like that you are comfortable in your sexuality”. If she agrees she’s likely to continue displaying those characteristics. So if she sees herself as adventurous or comfortable in her sexuality then she will likely stay consistent with those attributes as you begin to escalate things further.
#14: Preparation To Engage
Sexual psychophysiologist and neuroscientist, Dr. Nicole Prause studied the human brain when you feel those ~butterflies~ we like to call sexual tension and describes sexual tension as “Our pleasurable interpretation of the general body arousal and preparation to engage.”
In other words, your body is feeling the heat and is using that sexual tension as motivation to GET. IT. ON. When the brain starts thinking that the possibility of sex may occur, dopamine floods the system and gets us excited.
So get her thinking about sex. You can do it directly by asking her a question like “Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?” or indirectly by talking about a story that involves sex. “One time I was driving with my girlfriend and it was late at night and she just started unzipping my pants….”
I actually like to take my dates to a sex shop as we just so happen to be walking by one I say “hey let’s go in here”.
Talking about sex can get her to start thinking about the possibility of having sex with you in the near future. So make it a point to bring up the subject of sex on the date. Trust me, most women love talking about sex.
#15: The Negation Principle
Negation works twofold. First, it’s a fundamental principle that humans want what they can’t have. Second, it allows you to implant an idea into her brain and gets her to think about it because the subconscious brain cannot process negative commands. It’s like the classic example of saying, “don’t think of a pink elephant,” your brain cannot help to think of it even though the instruction was not to.
So when you say, “We cannot have sex tonight” not only are you creating a psychological barrier which instinctively creates more desire, but the unconscious brain can only process “We can have sex tonight.”
Now some of these are cool tactics to help take your skills to the next level and others are complete personality changes you can use to improve your social life and self-esteem. Attracting women should simply be a byproduct of improving yourself daily, feeling confident, and having a great personality.
Now if you just want to be better with women we created a “Free Escalation Cheat Sheet” that lists out some of our best ways to spark sexual tension, turn a girl on, and escalate to the bedroom.
It’s filled with Advanced Escalation Techniques that will help you turn a platonic – friendly interaction, into a more sexual – “I want to rip your clothes off” vibe.
This is very useful when you’re talking to a girl but it’s going nowhere.
Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level!
I’m out! Cheers!