7 Reasons Why You’re NOT READY for a Relationship

Is she not ready for a relationship? Or are YOU not ready for a relationship?

Right now, there are over 3.5 billion women in the world. 2 billion of them are between 24-54 years old. Let’s assume half of them are single.

That leaves 1 billion women who – based on my experience – are actively looking to meet a man or are open to it. So why then are you struggling to meet ONE?  

Why is it that you can’t find a girl?

Why do you go on dates and put in all this effort… but still aren’t getting anywhere?

There are 7 reasons why and Renee Slansky from The Attractive Man team is here to tell you what those 7 fatal reasons are, and exactly how to turn them around.

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7 Reasons Why You’re NOT READY for a Relationship

1: You don’t know what you want

If you are out there dating and trying to have a relationship and have absolutely no idea, or a really vague idea of what you want, then it’s going to be a very confusing process for everyone involved.

Think of love like a map. In order to set a course, you have to know where you are and where you want to get to. This is what gives you a point of direction to work towards.

If you don’t have a sense of direction, you’ll just aimlessly wander around from girl to girl and never actually get anywhere.

Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to sit down, grab a piece of paper and actually write down WHAT YOU WANT! List the top 5 qualities in your dream girl and dream relationship and then ask yourself, how can I make that a reality?  Do you want a long-term or casual relationship? Because identifying what type of relationship you want will help you work out what qualities that girl will have that can give you that type of relationship.

Do you need to be more proactive? Do you need to do some work on yourself? Do you have any idea where this type of girl might hang out?

The clearer you are the more chances you’ll have of attracting her and recognizing her when she comes along.

2: You need to sort out your baggage

Let’s be adults now and understand that no one is coming to rescue us and that we are actually the common denominator in our lives. If you are struggling to hold a girl or find a girl then it could be because you need to sort your crap out!

A high value awesome woman isn’t going to put up with a guy that still lets his past get him down. Stop making excuses and do something about what you are bitter or angry about.

Having a great relationship is about being a great partner who doesn’t hold onto unnecessary destructive crap.

I want you to do something: I want you imagine grabbing a suitcase and load it up with 10 or 20 kgs of weight, then I want you to take it on every date with you and try to meet women…. pretty sure women are going to run a mile ….

Well that’s what having baggage is like…it repels the right people from our life and attracts the ones who also have unresolved baggage.

So here’s what you need to do to get rid of it:  Write a list of all the people who hurt you, list what they did, speak forgiveness over them and yourself out loud for each person: which is something as simple as “I Rob… forgive you Jane for breaking my heart and hurting me in 2010, I release you and myself from this experience” .

Then burn that list. It might seem stupid, but hey I’m the coach and I actually know what works, so try it for me.

Remember you can’t correct what you aren’t willing to confront.

3: Choose commitment.

I will say this, you aren’t alone and it is more common for men to fear commitment than women, but just because you are in company doesn’t mean it’s going to justify your fears or that it’s good company!

It’s time to grow up and realise that commitment is not a prison sentence, it’s an opportunity to be loved wholly by someone and open your heart to another who can actually enhance it.

Statistically speaking, married men actually live longer and have less stress, because they understand that a problem shared is a problem halved!

There will always be risk involved but you get to choose how you respond to life. So, try and just take commitment in baby steps instead of being scared away from the big picture.  

And ask yourself where does this fear come from, is there baggage from point number 2 you need to sort out?

4: You’re dating the wrong woman over and over again!

If you have a type that’s a great starting point, but just make sure it’s women who are also good for you.

You see you can’t choose who you are attracted to, but you can choose who to fall in love with.  Not all women are money hungry, blood sucking, heartbreakers (shock horror I know!)

But you have to weed out the good from the bad and learn to identify them early on.  Make sure when you are attracted to a woman that you are taking your time to get to know her, look at what she’s consistent in, and ask yourself if she has more than just looks and sexual attraction going for her.

One thing I get my clients to do is an ex mug line up …basically I want you to profile all your exs and previous dates and see what common qualities and similarities they all have. Then trace back what could be indications of these such as her looks, way to act, dress, her friends etc.

Then once you have an idea, you will be able to pick up on it before it’s too late!

5: You’re not making room for anyone in your life

If you want someone to fit in, then you have to make them feel like they have a place. I get it, you want to have all your ducks lined up in a row, but if you keep delaying because you don’t feel ready, you’ll keep missing out and losing more time.

It’s not about trying to squeeze her in when you finally have everything perfect, you can still have a relationship even while everything else is in progress.

So, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to set 1–2 nights a week free where you would eventually want to spend quality time with her. Right now, she’s not in your life, but it’s about getting prepared and in a positive routine to receive her. Dedicate these two nights to either proactively trying to get a date, by being social or interacting with women or doing something fun.

Next, I want you to clear a space in your bathroom for her… yep when she eventually comes you will already have a space for her to fit in!  Also, this physical reminder will keep you accountable to what you want and need to do as well to get it.

6: Your standards are too high or too low

Guys, get to know what a healthy and realistic standard is. Stop guessing or basing it off your past experiences and get educated.

If your standards are too low you will always be disappointed and unfulfilled. But, if they are too high, then women will never feel like they can please you and you will end up alone. The two indications of a healthy relationship are peace and progress. If you don’t have either then you are either too high or too low!

7: You don’t have a clue about women!

Ok lastly this is a pretty big one. If you don’t know a thing about women then we aren’t going to feel like you add value to us. This is why you have to subscribe to our channel, because we literally give all the juicy details away.

Guys women aren’t that complicated. We teach you how to talk to them and woo them, so if you haven’t downloaded one of our escalation cheat sheets then do so now.

Here’s the thing, a lot of the time all we want is to feel like a priority, have some security and know that you think we are beautiful and valued. It’s that simple.

If you want to know how we tick you have to get inside our heads and hearts! Make the effort to invest getting to know how we tick, what we feel and want, because it’s actually going to be to your own advantage, plus you’ll make up for lost time and set yourself apart from every other man out there.

Well that was a lesson and a half and pretty darn good one, so do me a favour and share it with a mate and give us a thumbs up!

Don’t forget to download our Escalation cheat sheet. It will help you take things to the next level and give you the confidence to take things to the next level smoothly. You can download it by simply clicking on the image at the bottom of the screen.

Until next time, I’m Renee and I’ll see you soon!


Let us personally show you how to meet women: see our live Bootcamp Schedule here.

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approaching women

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women (Take Her Off The Pedestal)

Have you ever been obsessed with a girl you just met and it completely screwed up the interaction?

Look, women are not attracted to guys that put them on pedestals. 

And if you’re stuck on a woman with an unhealthy obsession, it’s probably screwing with your life.

In this video, you’ll discover 4 tips to getting over her so you can live your life undistracted. Make sure to watch this through, because I’ve put some practical applications of these tips at the end of the video:

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Download the Conversation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to her. 

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women

Don’t Put Girls On Pedestals

You’ve probably heard of “putting a woman on a pedestal,” the tendency for some of us to view a woman’s positive qualities and ignore her negative ones. Optimistically looking at people and seeing the best is a GOOD thing. The problem comes when we PROJECT qualities onto a woman that she doesn’t actually have, or when we project that the side we like is her ALL the time as if she’s not a normal human with moods swings, problems, and a lot of stuff going on.

The problem with this mode of thinking is that WHO SHE ACTUALLY IS doesn’t match your PROJECTED FANTASY about who she is. This is always a recipe for disappointment.

Guys with this issue fall into one of two camps, either they don’t operate from an ABUNDANCE mentality (they can’t find a bunch of options to meet their own needs), or they have very little experience, leaving very few references in their minds to navigate real relationships with real people.

Before I understood these concepts, I used to think like this all the time. One girl, in particular, caught me for a loop at the bar in my hometown. We started vibing, shared some laughs, and eventually made out on the dancefloor. What a great night! After that, however, I started PROJECTING onto her all of the stuff I wanted in a girlfriend, some of which she didn’t actually have. Inadvertently, I stopped viewing her as a human, and just viewed her through the lens as my ideal partner, who could meet all of my needs and nullify all of my insecurities. Ignoring who she actually was, I began to get disappointed over and over again because she wasn’t meeting my expectations. Instead of ACTUALLY ENGAGING with her and basking in the amazingness of who she actually was, I just kept trying to get her to act like I THOUGHT she SHOULD be acting. That blew up in my face, and she stopped talking to me altogether.

Do you have a similar situation? Let’s see how we can stop projecting in our obsessions and see her for who she really is?

TIP #1
Knock her off her pedestal by flipping the script

You are the prize. If you put her on a pedestal in your mind, you might be giving off needy or weak vibes, waiting around for her to give you the right signs, give you permission to make a move, or approve of you. STOP THAT. You are the prize to be won. When you realize your own value to her, you’ll expect her to work for you. This has a double benefit of both showing your value, and stopping weak behaviors that turn her off.

TIP #2
Focus on you

Every hero has a quest, and every man has a mission. When you prove to yourself that you have ambition and success in other areas, you can validate yourself, instead of waiting for her to do it for you.

  • Find your mission
  • Pour Everything into it
  • Challenge yourself to crush it. Step up like a man and make things happen, rather than just waiting around to get lucky.

TIP #3
Manage your own emotions

When you envision a woman who can complete you, you tend to see yourself as “not good enough,” or “broken.” You don’t need anyone to complete you; you’re awesome. Prove it to yourself, and she’ll notice it too, in the way you carry yourself.

  • Own your space in the world
  • Take responsibility for your own emotions
  • Take responsibility for how you make others feel, too. When you believe you’re a powerful influence on the people around you, you ARE!

TIP #4
Qualify her to fit into YOUR life

When you get caught up with infatuation in the early stages of meeting someone new, step up and get to know her. Make a list of standards that she must meet, and then ask her about each one, evaluating how she fits in.

This will do two things;

1) It will free you from projecting ethereal or unrealistic expectations on women, and

2) It will bring attention to LOOKING FOR these qualities, so that you may see them in other people as well. This will broaden your pool of dateable women and you’ll be taking a massive step toward an abundance mentality.

The core idea behind getting over your obsession with new girls is REPLACING YOUR EXPECTATIONS WITH REALITY, rather than your own myopic fantasy.

Final Thoughts

Armed with both a clear understanding of your own standards and an idea of how a woman you’re attracted to is operating, you’ll be able to see these qualities in everyone. Rather than PROJECTING a fantasy, EVALUATE the reality of every new woman you meet. Take action to ACTUALLY engage with a woman and you’ll free yourself from stalling in fantasy land obsessing over any one girl.

Now if you’re asking yourself, “Sure I’ll remember to do all that, but what do I say to a girl?” We got you covered:

We created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

  • My top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

Download it now because you’ll want to keep this handy before you go out.

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personallyclick here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!