How do you move from being complete strangers, to being deeply connected with someone?
How do you make her feel like she has known you for years, even though you have only been talking for minutes?
In order for her to have a sexual relationship with you, she needs to feel a connection with you.
Most guys ask questions to get to know her, but they don’t really “know her,” and she can feel that. They may ask her about her parents, favorite activities, and job, but they don’t dive in to how she really feels about the topic. They don’t find out what really makes her special. Every girl knows she is different and special, and she wants a guy to see that. When you are the guy that truly understands her and sees her as a one-of-a-kind girl, then she will fall for you.
Express that you really care about who she is, instead of just trying to get into her pants.
I have below some powerful questions that will help you build a intimate connection with a girl in the least time possible. First let me give you some guidelines.
- Draw out her emotions and use the word “feel” in your language. For example, “what one thing about your home town makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside?” I am basically asking her to feel “warm and fuzzy inside” and by doing this, you will see a noticeable shift in her emotions. She will light up.
- Don’t jump to solve her problems. When women feel connected to you, they will want to share everything that is going on with their life, including problems. Don’t try to fix them. As men, we want to solve the problem, but she really just wants you to listen.
- At first, she will give you the standard answer to your question, like she gives most guys. What you need to do is probe more to find out what is really important to her. Good follow up questions are, “Tell me more about that?” or “How do you feel about that?”
- To truly create trust and connection, you must be vulnerable and share something revealing about yourself. Take the facade off and let her see who you really are inside. Make sure you yourself have good answers to the questions you ask her because she may ask you the same question in return.
Note: These questions are not intended to be asked consecutively like an interview. Weave them into the conversation naturally.
1. Imagine you could have your ideal day, what would it look like? Where would it be, who would it be with, and what would happen on this dream day of yours? This is a great question to elicit values. Within this one question, she will tell you about the man she wants in her life, what she likes doing, and the people that are important to her. Let her speak. Then go back and dive into the topics that really made her light up with joy.
2. What one thing are you really proud of that you don’t openly share with people? Many people are proud of certain accomplishments or traits but they don’t share them because they don’t want to seem boastful. Here you are giving her permission to boast and will find out something interesting about her.
3. Tell me something personal about you that not more than 10 people know? This is a powerful question and after she answers will make her feel so connected with you. After all, she is sharing something she doesn’t share with most people and almost instantly you are in her closest circle of relationships. Make sure you have some level of rapport or she will not want to answer this one. You may get traumatic stories about rape, abuse, death etc. That is okay, just be ready for it and empathize with her. Remember, you are getting to know her so it is good if she opens up to you in this way. Your personal answer to this question should demonstrate good qualities about you.
4. What is your vision? Women have goals too, not just men. Most guys get so wrapped up in their mission that they forget to listen to the needs of their woman. Ask her what she wants in life as well.
5. How are you? No really, how are you? When asked, “How are you?” or “How was your weekend?” most people give the short and generic “good” response. They didn’t really answer the question. So challenge them to answer the question. Tell them, “No really, how are you?” or “No really, how was your weekend?” By doing this, you are demonstrating your power and concern for them. You will also learn more about them. Get into the habit of also giving a real answer when asked these questions. If you don’t have time to dive into their weekend, say “Good morning,” “good afternoon” or “good evening” instead.
6. Tell me something interesting about yourself. My go-to qualification question.
7. Where did you grow up? What did you like about that?
8. Who has been an influential role model to you?
9. What’s the most memorable book (movie, concert, etc.) you have ever read?
10. What are you passionate about in life right now?
11. Tell me about your family. What are they like?
12. What was the happiest day of your life?
13. What do you think I am like?” You’ll get useful feedback on how you’re doing and how she perceives you.
14. What role would you like to play in a movie?
Remember, find out who she REALLY is. Do you have some great questions that have worked well for you? Put them in the comments down below?